So I'm in Walmart and I see some guy wandering around with a couple of pairs of Girls Underwear festooned in some cartoon character that appeals to girls of that age group. And I do mean wandering around. The poor fellow looked like he was either lost or looking for something.
Now some may look askance at this figure, but I learned long time ago that not everything is as they seem. Sure this might look creepy, but then again it could be innocent.
Some other poor fool wasn't as enlightened as I was.
Some woman storms over to this fellow and tears into him. She's yelling at him and screaming (not yelling, not talking loudly, screaming at the top of her gorram lungs) about what a colossal pervert this guy is and how dare he exploit children like that and how his ass should be arrested. She's punctuating her tirade with physical finger jabs and pokes into his chest as she's screaming and spitting on him.
Here's where the fun begins.
As this is going on, a pair of little girls of the right age and size to be wearing the aforementioned knickers with a haggard looking mother in tow tear across the store yelling excitedly that "Daddy! You found them! You found them!"
Psycho lady sees the children, sees that they might just be the reason that this middle aged man might be roaming through the stores clutching two packages of little girl panties and stops mid-scream. She murmers something that might have been an apology but might have been the gibbering of a brain breaking from the sudden turn around from "Righteous Indignation" to "Oh my GAWD! I'm such a fricking idiot".
Ever watch someone trying to slow down from 60 to full stop and accidently downshifts the manual transmission from 5th to 1st gear, causing the transmission to explode and shed gears, transmission fluid and metal fragments across a quarter mile of tarmac? This is what her brain reminded me of.
She turned bright red and fled the scene, dropping everything she was carrying and bolted out of the store.
Dumbass
