Slacktivism.

I love the English Language. We can invent words at will. Not every language gets to do that unless they get the blessing of at least 5 Popes (or something). Sometimes they're stupid, sometimes they're thinly veiled and politically correct ways to insult others. But sometimes, words like Slacktivism cut right to the heart of something and describe it well.


Slacktivism is a portmanteau of the words "Slacker" and "Activism". And it pretty well covers the meaning of the word within the spelling of the word.


Slacktivism is what you find on Facebook, MySpace, and in about a bazillion spam e-mails that get bounced around the internet. 


It is the process of mental masturbation that people practice when they see a link to something they care about that says click here to stop people from anally violating baby seals (or something).


Sorry folks, but unless there is a Predator Drone ready to be activated by that mouse click to seek out the butt buggering seal rapists and blow their peckers into burger meat...you're just jerking off.


Why do I compare it to masturbation? Because there are many parallels. In both the person is doing a repetitive action with the intended goal of feeling better after it's all over. 


Don't see it? Let me further clarify. You go on the web and you check your Facebook. You see some sad story about how an abused, but still friendly dog was burned by some bad people. This makes you very sad. You want to feel better about the situation so you read further and see "Click here to make a difference". You do so and see "Your profile name has been added to the petition to stop the county from euthanizing this poor poor puppy." You think you've done good and so you feel better.


But what you don't realize is that no one who reads a petition is going to accept the fictitious profile name of "He
_who_teabags_noobs_1138" or "Party_girl_who_puts_out_for_strange_men_while_she's_drunk_off_her_ass_at_clubs_1701" as a valid name on that petition. So the action that was taken did nothing more than what you can accomplish by diddling your naughty bits with the intent of felling good when you orgasm.


The only difference is that (hopefully) the slactivism mouse click didn't require a tissue afterwards.


So is it pointless to do anything on the World Wide Web? Hell no.


There is a website called Ernie's House of Whoop Ass. Don't go there if you are at work or offended by pictures of dubious content. But this is also the guy who does LBEH.org. A charitable organization that gathers up donation of money and frequent flier miles in order to help soldiers get home for the holidays or other important events in their families lives. People who go to that site and actually donate money or the Frequent Flier miles are doing something real. Their actions on the 'net are having a real and measurable impact on the lives of others in a positive way. 


This same guy also helped a badly burned dog. He whipped his readers into a frenzy and they donated the money needed to pay for the operations needed to save this dog's life. This dog lived, was adopted, and now goes around and helps her new owner raise money for animal shelters. Again a positive result brought about by people who really did something.


But some may be thinking "Gee. That's all about money and I don't have much to give". And that's fine. Times are tough. But instead of all the time that they spend in front of a television or in front of a computer, there is a hell of a lot that people could do in that time. There are organizations all over the place that don't need so much in the way of money as they do in manpower. Cleaning up the environment by getting a bunch of people to clear out the garbage clogging up a stream. Taking a bunch of junked components and turning them into functional computers for people who can't afford them. The list is endless. 


So stop clicking on the links and thinking you're saving the world. Go out and find something real that you can do that actually does something good for the world. 

Holidays and Cultural identity.

I've had it. Recent news articles about how some Jehovah's Witness family got pissy and managed to get Colorado public schools to do away with Valentine's Day and the card exchange. have got me so goddamn furious that I'm considering possible ways to strike back against people like them.

Seriously. You can't say "Merry Christmas" without pissing off dozens of people who scream "Well what about the Jewish Community" or "What about the African-American Community and their Kwanzaa?"

Fuck you in the ass with a broken glass ornament Angel Christmas tree topper.

And I'm not saying that about the Jewish people or the African Americans who celebrate Kwanzaa. This is a country that at one point prided itself on cultural diversity. If they want to celebrate Hanukkah that's fine. Kwanzaa more your speed? Great! Wonderful!

But God Damn it I am going to celebrate Christmas in my house and if you try to take that away from me then we are going to have words. And by we I mean you (the person trying to take my holiday away), me (Hi!), Stretch (my rubber chicken), your urethra and a half-inch Forstner Bit. 

You don't want to know what the rubber chicken has in mind for you. His "hobbies" disturb me and so I don't pry.

The part that gets me so damn rilled up is the fact that I have to listen to "Cultural Diversity" day in and day out. I get it from work. I hear it taught in the schools. I see it talked about on the news. It's everywhere I look. Someone somewhere is bitching about how is they are offended because someone else is oppressing their cultural identity. "How are they doing this?" you may ask.

Apparently by celebrating their own cultural identity.

Yes folks. These people are not offended because someone is trying to stop them from being who they are. These people are getting offended because others are being who they are around them.

So I get tired of it. I get tired of hearing about how the [culture] celebrates [event] by doing [something] and how I'm a bad person for not finding it fascinating. I'll admit that I don't know the first thing about Kwanzaa other than it's an African-American celebration. I'll admit that my understanding about Hanukkah is limited and I still have a hard time figuring out where the Dreidel fits in to the whole equation. I'll admit that it took me 35 years before I knew what Cinco De Mayo was beyond the 5th of May.

But while some of the other cultures and their celebratory habits were of little interest to me, I never once said "Miserable fuckers! Why can't they celebrate what we celebrate in this country?"

And that's what these other people who are complaining have forgotten. This is the Unites States of America and we have a cultural heritage of our own. That we have a cultural identity of our own. And I'll freely admit that it is a hodge-podge of everyone who came here. That some of the traditions that I hold dear are a mixture of just about every other country who has had their people put toes into the sand on our beaches in order to find a better life. 

I get that. 

I think that it is a wonderful thing that others have their cultural things that they celebrate. But if you come into this country then you had better expect that there are going to be people celebrating things that you do not and had better get used to the idea.

You want to come to the US and celebrate your traditions? That's wonderful! Here's a list of all the places that can host a gathering as large as you're expecting and at a reasonable price.

You want to come here and be offended that a tradition that we celebrate happens to fall in the same month as your celebration does and so in your mind must be stopped? Well let me call Stretch over and let's "discuss" it.

Gen-Mod hooplah.

Genetic Modification is something that I stand behind. Why? Because it has the potential for solving a lot of the world's food issues.

For example. Corn has a tendency to be susceptible to fungal infestations. These fungi can ruin acres and acres of crops that are needed as feed for us humans in some way or another. Either directly feeding us, or by feeding the animals raised to be meat for us. So in order to prevent fungal infestations from ruining our crops, the traditional solution is to dump a shit load of man made chemical fungicides that are toxic to the fungi but not (hopefully) to us humans.

Something most of us would prefer not to happen but are either resigned to the fact or are happily unaware of the practice.

So let's say that genetic scientists notice that there is another grain plant that is resistant to this fungus naturally. This plant has a chemical compound running through it that kills off the fungi before it can set in and cause damage. This ability came about naturally and is in a food that we eat on a regular basis. Even "organic" varieties of this plant have this chemical. Totally natural and totally harmless to animals up to and including humans.

So the scientists sequence the plant to identify what genes are responsible for making this compound and insert it into the corn. After many attempts, they finally get the sequencing correct and now we have a variety of corn that is naturally resistant to the fungus and we have achieved that without having to dump a shit-ton of noxious chemicals on tomorrow's cornbread.

What is wrong with that?

This stems from a recent debate with an online friend of mine whom on face posted a petition to force the government to label foods as Gen-Mod. That sounds reasonable and I'm all for it. After all, the options are already out there for chemical and hormone free foods. It's called organic foods. Don't want Pesticide X in your salad? Buy organic. Want Bovine Growth Hormone free steak? Buy organic.

I'm sure that some of these same organic companies will start offering "as nature intended" products as well.

But I couldn't bring myself to join the petition. Why?

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=498168966858&id=16352069036

The title of this post starts off with "Let nature design her own blueprints" and the BIG HONKING sign that says NO GMO'S! Seriously. This is a 393x444 pixel image in screaming bright green.

I can not get behind someone who is saying a complete "no" to genetic modifications. Now when you have all the benefits that could come from this. Plants that do not need pesticides to repel harmful insects without killing off the bees needed to pollinate them. Or plants spliced with drought resistant species that can better dryer climates.

Or my favorite. How about an Algae that produce an oil that can be processed into fuel? This exists and has been tested. It has successfully been used as diesel fuel for automobiles, trucks, boats, trains using diesel-electric power plants, diesel generators...anything that can use diesel in fact. And that's not all! IT has also been converted into Jet Fuel and tested on a commercial aircraft. Yes, this stuff can make fuel that can power a 747 with no modifications to the engine. They took off with the test engine (one was the test engine, the other three were using the standard fuel) burning normal fuel to take off. Once at operating height they powered off the engine, switched the fuel feed to the Bio-Fuel and restarted the engine. Result? Power output was within normal range for that class of engine.

Now I grant you. The article brings up a good point. The Gen-Mod alfalfa in question is modded to be resistant to herbicides. This is so they can spray round-up on the field and kill off everything BUT the alfalfa. So in this case you're not talking about GMO to prevent the use of chemicals, but to increase the use.

To me that's not appealing.

But I still can not get behind the petition of some group who is whipping people into a frenzy over GMO's with an agenda clearly defined by the phrases "Let nature design her own blueprints" and "NO GMO'S"

To me this is akin to all the anti-stem cell research bull crap. Yes it is not cool to abort a fetus to harvest stem cells, but because of that one creepy aspect of SCR, there are bans in this country about harvesting stem-cells  from discarded placental material. You know the hunk of afterbirth that gets incinerated as medical waste? That chunk of material that could be used to save lives that GETS THROWN AWAY! Hell there are still laws about stem cells that are made from taking adult cells and reverting them into a stem cell state.
All because someone got the creepy oompa-loopa vibe over one possible way to harvest them.

That's like trying to ban high school football just because there are 0.13 deaths per 100,000 players per year.

I'm all for Gen-Mod. I'm against anything that makes people want to add more chemicals to foods. I'm all for truth in labeling. I'm against people trying to ban something before the risk vs benefit analysis has been done.