Holidays and Cultural identity.

I've had it. Recent news articles about how some Jehovah's Witness family got pissy and managed to get Colorado public schools to do away with Valentine's Day and the card exchange. have got me so goddamn furious that I'm considering possible ways to strike back against people like them.

Seriously. You can't say "Merry Christmas" without pissing off dozens of people who scream "Well what about the Jewish Community" or "What about the African-American Community and their Kwanzaa?"

Fuck you in the ass with a broken glass ornament Angel Christmas tree topper.

And I'm not saying that about the Jewish people or the African Americans who celebrate Kwanzaa. This is a country that at one point prided itself on cultural diversity. If they want to celebrate Hanukkah that's fine. Kwanzaa more your speed? Great! Wonderful!

But God Damn it I am going to celebrate Christmas in my house and if you try to take that away from me then we are going to have words. And by we I mean you (the person trying to take my holiday away), me (Hi!), Stretch (my rubber chicken), your urethra and a half-inch Forstner Bit. 

You don't want to know what the rubber chicken has in mind for you. His "hobbies" disturb me and so I don't pry.

The part that gets me so damn rilled up is the fact that I have to listen to "Cultural Diversity" day in and day out. I get it from work. I hear it taught in the schools. I see it talked about on the news. It's everywhere I look. Someone somewhere is bitching about how is they are offended because someone else is oppressing their cultural identity. "How are they doing this?" you may ask.

Apparently by celebrating their own cultural identity.

Yes folks. These people are not offended because someone is trying to stop them from being who they are. These people are getting offended because others are being who they are around them.

So I get tired of it. I get tired of hearing about how the [culture] celebrates [event] by doing [something] and how I'm a bad person for not finding it fascinating. I'll admit that I don't know the first thing about Kwanzaa other than it's an African-American celebration. I'll admit that my understanding about Hanukkah is limited and I still have a hard time figuring out where the Dreidel fits in to the whole equation. I'll admit that it took me 35 years before I knew what Cinco De Mayo was beyond the 5th of May.

But while some of the other cultures and their celebratory habits were of little interest to me, I never once said "Miserable fuckers! Why can't they celebrate what we celebrate in this country?"

And that's what these other people who are complaining have forgotten. This is the Unites States of America and we have a cultural heritage of our own. That we have a cultural identity of our own. And I'll freely admit that it is a hodge-podge of everyone who came here. That some of the traditions that I hold dear are a mixture of just about every other country who has had their people put toes into the sand on our beaches in order to find a better life. 

I get that. 

I think that it is a wonderful thing that others have their cultural things that they celebrate. But if you come into this country then you had better expect that there are going to be people celebrating things that you do not and had better get used to the idea.

You want to come to the US and celebrate your traditions? That's wonderful! Here's a list of all the places that can host a gathering as large as you're expecting and at a reasonable price.

You want to come here and be offended that a tradition that we celebrate happens to fall in the same month as your celebration does and so in your mind must be stopped? Well let me call Stretch over and let's "discuss" it.