Since this question comes up a hell of a lot on Yahoo Answers, I decided that I would post this nice and handy DIY guide for downloading a movie for free over the internet.
1. Find a site that has it for free
2. Click on said link
3. Download the file
4. Wait forever for it do download since the site is swamped by every other cheapskate who wants to see it for free
5. Download a good antivirus/anti-malware program to clean the crap that the file infected your computer with since it wasn't really the movie
6. Either bribe a friend or pay Geeksquad to clean your computer since the virus is too cagey to be caught by the cheapass freebie virus program you downloaded.
7. Find another site that has it for free
8. Click on the link to that site
9. Download the file
10. Curse and download the Bit Torrent client since you either don't have one or have an older version that is not supported any more
11. Wait for another forever for the file since every one downloading it too much of a cheap prick to allow anyone else to tap their bandwidth and so are not actually seeding the file but is instead being a bunch of scrummy leeches
12. Click on the file downloaded
13. Curse because you don't have a compression utility that supports the .rar format
14. Download Winrar and uncompress it.
15. Click on the movie file
16. Go into a murderous rampage and kill a small animal because you don't have a compatible media player.
17. Download the media player suggested by the file’s information text file
18. Click on the movie file again
19. Curse the makers of the internet for a billion generations because while the player supports that format, the movie was encoded in a really obscure and rarely used (except by the prick who recorded the gorram thing) codec
20. Download the codec and install it
21. Click on the fucking movie once more
22. Watch the first 15 minutes of the film
23. Be really annoyed that since it is a geek attracting film that there is a theater of Wolverine wannabes waving their fake claws in front of the camera whooping and hollering in the throws of nerd-gasm.
24. Get pissed off that the quality is not unlike what you’d expect if you were to make a child drink a quad-damage espresso laced with a package of pixy-stixs and then hand them an iPhone to record the movie
25. Start making a vein in your forehead throb because every now and again the theater people who are looking for people recording the film, are causing said people to hide their cameras causing you to miss that scene where Mystique’s nipple slips out
26. Blow chunks when during #25 above, you get to see the state of the theater floor. Gum, half dried soda, soggy popcorn, and Ooh! Used condoms.
27. Give up and pay the Twenty Bucks to go and see the movie in the theaters and get the popcorn/soda combo.
28. Get Netflix or Blockbuster subscription.
ReplyDelete29. Start catching up on stuff you didn't see when it was out in theaters. By the time you're done, the original movie will be rentable too.
I vote for Netflix!!
ReplyDeleteSpent the 20 to 30 minutes it takes to download that just-released movie that hadn't hit the theaters yet, via torrent, open the movie then slam something because the FUCKING movie is either in some language you don't speak or simply doesn't work!
ReplyDelete