How stupid do they think we are...

Oh yeah...they wouldn't be doing this if people didn't fall for it. But this one is supposedly from "Fedex". This is what I sent back to them.

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmed Packagethat is registered with us for shipping to your residential location.We had thought that your sender gave you our contact details. It mayinterest you to know that a letter is also added to your package.However, we cannot quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons.

And...I'm supposed to be doing your job for you? Last I checked it is *your* responsibility to use the contact information on the packaging and/or shipping label and/or the information in your computers to route the package from whomever sent it to my address. It has *never* been my responsibility to have to tell your company, UPS, US Postal Service, or any company out there that I'm expecting a package and that they should bring it to me.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draftworth $750,000.00 USD,FedEx does not ship money in CASH but Bank Draftsare Shippable. The package is registered with us for mailing by yourpayment officer, and he did inform us that he is the payment officerresponsible for your funds and due to some logistic reasons ir could notbe delivered before now that he is from the United Kingdom but he is herein Nigeria for a three (3) months diplomatic assignment in West Africa. Weare sending you this email because your package is been registered on aSpecial Order.

And how in the name of Zeus's sweaty ball sack do you know what is in my package? Who are you to be looking into my mail? 

What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department forImmediate dispatch of your package to your residential address; you willhave to pay thesum of $120 USD to the FedEx Delivery Department being fullpayment for the Security Keeping Fee of the FedEx Company as stated in ourprivacy terms & condition page. Note that as soon as our Delivery Teamconfirm your information, it will take only one working day (24 hours) foryour package to arrive it's designated destination. For your information,the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid for byyour payment officer before your package was registered.

Bull... 
Shit!
I am not paying a goddamned thing. It is the responsibility of the shipper (the aforementioned payment officer whom is currently in Africa) to pay any fees regarding shipping. And since you somehow managed to have this package get stuck in one of your holding areas for some reason that is certainly not my fault...it is not my responsibility to pay you a fucking thing. You have that package, you have my address on the shipping label and in your computer system (and you should because if you have my e-mail address in your computer and can identify the package well enough to link it to me...then you jolly well have my shipping address) you can get off your stupid fat asses and fucking send it to me...


NOW!!!

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with thedetails given below:
FedEx Express ®Courier Company West-Africa .Mr. Josip Rozmanic { Head Dispatch Unit }E-mail: fedex_deliveryunit1@yahoo.com.hkTell:+234 705-190-6700

Whoops! Now we see that this is a scam. You see, there is no West Africa office. There is one in South Africa, but not the area that you point out. Also their addresses are [name]@fedex.com, @fedex.com.uk, or otherwise @fedex.[country identifier] and not yahoo.com.


And certainly not at Yahoo.com.hk (Hong Kong) when you are supposed to be a branch in Africa.

Please Kindly reconfirm the details below via email:
FULL NAMES:TELEPHONE:MOBILE:POSTAL ADDRESS:CITY:STATE:COUNTRY:

Well if you weren't a scam, I'd have to point out to you that if you could utilize enough of the shipping label on the package to identify my e-mail address, then you already have that information

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you thenecessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for theSecurity Keeping Fee. As soon as they confirm your payment receipt of $120USD, they will not hesitate to dispatch your package as well as theattached letter to your residence. It usually takes 24 hours being anovernight delivery service.

Nope. Wrong again!


Being an overnight shipping service, you should be able to get it to me faster than that. Overnight means (according to your advertisements) that you can have it on my desk from anywhere in the world by 11am. So hop to it fuckers.

Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the highpriority of your package we had to inform you as your sender did not leaveus with his phone number because he stated that he just arrived Nigeriaand he hasn't registered a phone yet. We indeed personally sealed yourBank Draft and we found your email contact in the receiver?s column as therecipient of the foremost package.

No member of any country's diplomatic service would be without a government issues mobile phone in order to contact them at any time day or night. And even then you need not have emailed me anyway. You have my address, you should have just kept up your part of the contract and shipped the goddamn package.

Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email address givenabove and ensure to fill the above form as well for a successfulreconfirmation.

Wow! Up to this point you had stellar grammar (compared to most of these scam letters that is) but what the fuck happened?

Yours Faithfully,Mrs. Sawad Susan MarinaFedEx Team Management.All rights reserved. © 1995-2012

Get fucked with a red hot agave cactus (yeah, I used it again Rob. Watcha gonna do about it?),
Mr. Mongo Q. Skruddgemire
Too smart to be fooled by your nonsense LTD.
All rights reversed. © 1971-2012