Other than Mrs. Kennedy, how was Dallas?

Now that I'm awake again and have calmed down enough to sit and tell the tale that was promises, I shall.

Yesterday since I was no longer able to go to my folks house for the weekend I figured that today (Friday) would be a better time than Monday to get the registration fixed on the car.

I take the car to Agape Auto and found them to be an absolutely winderful service center. They knew the history of the car from the previous owners (our good friends who sold us the car) and transferred it to our new account so they and I could know what has been done and what is due to be done to keep the car in running prime. They inspected the car and it almost passed. It needed a few marker lights replaced.

I could have done it myself but then I'd have needed to go back to them to let them look to verify that they were replaced before getting my inspection sticker...or I could let them do it for a reasonable fee and they could let me walk out with the sticker in hand.

I let them do the work and they worked the price down to the $100 that I had on hand to pay for the inspection and the work. They didn't need to to that but damn that was a nice thing to do and that's the sort of thing that will have me coming back to them for the upcoming tune up and fuel system cleaning.

Oh and they remembered our friends by name and by the cars they have. Anyone who sees their customers as people and treats them that way instead of as bipedal sacks of money is up there in my book.

That was the bright spot of my day.

Inspection sticker, title, registration and proof of insurance in hand, off I toddle to the Motor Vehicle Administration (DMV in other states...Maryland has to be different and “special” I guess) to register my vehicle.

Long ass wait in line for the vehicle services window to call my number. But three chapters of my book later my number is called and I go up and hand the clerk my paperwork. They can't run it because of an insurance violation.

F

U

C

K

!!

My first thought is that they STILL haven't cleared my CCU debt from the system. I have to go back and tell a few mini-tales before I can get back to the main part of the story so please bear with me.

In 1999 I had an old piece of shit car that died in the middle of no-damn-where. I mean totally fucking died to the point where only Chip Foose's “A-Team” on the show “Overhaulin'” could save it.

And the '71 Dodge Polara is hardly a car worthy of that treatment.

So I called a salvage yard to pick it up. They promised that they handle everything including de-registering the plates with the MVA. “Full Service” they called themselves...”Ass raping cockstains” I call them for what they must have done was to either keep the plates for their own uses or just sent them off to be recycled with other aluminum for the money. And since I still had 18 months on my registration AND terminated my insurance the day after the car went tits-up...well I started incurring a $150 per uninsured day penalty. Thankfully the penalty maxes out at $5,000 here in Maryland or I'd REALLY be fucked. That's 545 days (roughly) and would have been in the ballpark of $81,750 if they didn't cap it at a number that could be paid off eventually.

So years later I move back into Maryland and I register a van since Kier's station wagon died. I do the “Transfer Plates” option since we still had almost the full two years on the plates (they'll only give you back the money on the completely unused year). I go to a fast title place as opposed to the MVA and they transfer the plates.

Unbeknownst to me, it didn't go through after I left and I was driving an unregistered vehicle and I was pulled over for it. The officer nailed my for driving an unregistered vehicle, driving an uninsured vehicle (I had insurance but while USAA considers a vehicle insured regardless of registration status, Maryland considers a vehicle insured if the car has valid registration), and illegally using another vehicle's plates.

Damn! I am so fucked as that could kill my license. Thankfully the prosecutor offered me a plea bargain. If I plead guilty to driving an uninsured vehicle and pay a reasonable $60 fine, they would put it on a stet docket and send me on my way.

A stet docket means that they'll keep the case open but inactive for one year. If I don't do anything that naughty again they'll chuck the case in the bin and it never plagues me again. If had done that again during the year, it gets reactivated and I get the book thrown at me.

Naturally I kept my nose VERY clean. I didn't even get so much as a parking ticket that year.

Once that was taken care of I went to the MVA that had the Central Collection Unit and set up a payment plan to clear my debt. They were reasonable. They only demanded $1,000 up front and set my payments at $145 per month. Once done I could register vehicles again.

I paid that off and when I went to get the 30-day plates for the car they flagged me as not having cleared that debt. An hour of arguing with CCU and the MVA (who could not seem to be able to communicate to clear my fucking record) and finally I was able to plate the car and start using it.

Back to the story at hand. If you'll recall I was sitting there with another insurance violation. They transfer my number to the Insurance Compliance window and again I wait. While waiting I call my insurance company to verify that there was no gap in my coverage. None was found so I'm thinking that this is the fucking CCU bullshit all over again.

If only I could have been so lucky.

Another rewind of my life if you'll permit me. Two years ago that van blew the heads. It was given to us for free so it didn't really owe us any money. I'd have been upset but my sister-in-law sold us her station wagon to be used as a second car. I did the same thing. I got 30-day plates and started getting the vehicle repaired to pass inspection. The poor thing had fucked up suspension parts and needed an alignment and new front breaks and rotors but was otherwise in good condition. I let the garage fix it. I go and register the car and I'm flagged for an insurance violation (sound familiar?) I call USAA and they they assure me that there was no coverage lapse. In fact I had uninsured the van three days after I turned in the plates. After the $5,000 I was not about to make the same mistake again.

Maryland on the other hand showed a one-day lapse in coverage. A 24-hour window where I had no insurance with USAA and had it back again.

What. The. Fuck?

Fine! Whatever! I'll have USAA fax in a FR-19 form proving that I am covered and that I have ALWAYS been covered. They get the fax and tell us that it will take 10 days to clear my record.

What. The. Fuck?!?

They inform us that this is a glitch in the system and that they have a huge fucking backlog because this is happening to all new registrations on the state of Maryland. Well if this is a glitch and you goddamn know about it then why are you punishing me by not allowing me to drive my only car for 10 business days until you get off your lazy asses and fix your fuck-up?

Dejected I leave the MVA and go to bed. Working nights I have to either go to bed when I get home in the morning or go to bed no later than 4pm in order to get the sleep I need to work that night.

Kier on the other hand does not give up. She moves Heaven and Earth and manages to get a state legislator involved. That person saw our plight and straightened those jammy cocksuckers at the MVA out and got my record cleared and started an investigation as to what the fuck the monkeys at the MVA are doing or more to the point why they aren't doing anything to fix the problem.

Kier takes the papers back to the fast title place and they look the other way and let her sign the papers for me. Station Wagon is registered.

Back to the story at hand. I had to tell that story since it is very relevant to the story at hand. Why is it?

BECAUSE IT IS THE SAME FUCKING PROBLEM!

Yes in two years they still have the glitch. In fact the person in Insurance Compliance, by her own admission said that “It's a glitch in the system sir. Every new vehicle registration gets flagged.”

Mom, you might want to keep that in mind when you go and renew the cars. You might get lucky and not get flagged or they fix the problem...but you might get nailed.

So back and forth, back and forth and just before they close (this is now four and a half hours of pissed off customers with the same problem and nasty, rude, and totally unhelpful people) I finally walk out of there after being awake for 27 hours, low blood sugar, and I could feel the rage burning over my skin. My skin felt rather like what I'd imagine fire flowing over it would feel if I were like Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four (Human Torch) for hours.

I finally cooled off and calmed down and ate some dinner and went to bed.

One final note. On the way home I was pulled over by a Police Officer. It seems that the insurance violation takes a couple of hours to clear out of the system and I was flagged by the plate scanner. Thankfully having the proof of insurance, the new registration and the time-stamped and dated receipt meant that I could go without so much as a warning or a waggled finger pointed at me...

But did I really need the insult added to the injury?