A PSA notification to my friends.

As a notification to our friends I am here to announce that we are getting a pet snake. This is going to cause some of you to freak out, some of you already have, and others are going to range from not caring one way or the other to "What kind didya get?"

1. The type of snake we are getting is called a ribbon snake. 
2. It will not hurt you.
3. It is not going to grow much larger than the thickness of a pencil.
4. It will not hurt you.
5. It is going to get about two feet long which is small as snakes go.
6. It will not hurt you.
7. It is not venomous.
8. It will not hurt you. 
9. It is going to be living in my stepson's room.
10. It will not hurt you. 
11. If you do not want to see it you do not have to as it will be behind a closed door.
12. It will not hurt you.
13. It will be in a terrarium with a securely locking screen.
14. It will not hurt you.
15. It is not strong enough to force its way out of said enclosure.
16. It will not hurt you.
17. It eats crickets and feeder gold fish so you will not see frozen and dead rodents in the freezer.
18. It will not hurt you. 

With that in mind, there is no reason to fear going to my house. You need never see it, you need never get near it, you need never go into the same room as it. 

Please remember that my wife is as deathly afraid of snakes as many of our ophidiophobic friends are. This was her idea as she could not stand to see her son disappointed by the fact that his father would not let him have a snake. If she can deal with living in the same house with a snake, there is no reason to freak out over visiting. 

That is all.

And did I mention that it is not going to hurt you? 

Just checking.