Read this with your best Jeff Foxworthy/Redneck voice in your head.
Lo there ma children'. Today on "Fishin' with Jesus" we're fishin' on ol' lake Witchahatchee and today we're gonna show ya how ta catch some big ol' lunker bass.
We got our old buddy Judas here in the boat with us. Course lotuvya might remember Ol' Judas caught the biggest bass ever caught on our show, and like all our guests, ol' Judas let 'im go. We had ta whack 'is ass with a boat paddle, but ol' Judas finally let 'im go.
And hey, another thing, remember conservation is everybody's responsibility, so when yer out on the lake drinkin' beer, don't jus' fling yer cans outta da boat, fill 'em up with water, make sure they sink to the bottom.
And speakin' of beer, looks lak ol' Judas drank the last one out ta cooler again. I know I gave that sumbitch 30 pieces of silver to get more afore we left. Come ta think about it never got the change back either.
Now where's that daggum boat paddle again?
Yep...think my muse is high on acid, tripping balls again.
And yes, I must make apologies to Jeff Foxworthy. I borrowed heavily from his bit when I was in the car thinking this up originally and had to use it for this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeff. Your style of clean redneck humor is a godsend to nutjobs like me.