Monday, March 11, 2013

A Comedy of Errors (or how to make Mongo say naughty words a lot of times)

So wife's surgery to get the knee replaced is coming up. Alas and alack so is Snowpocalypse. On the same day.

Plan "A" - Spend the night at my folks place as it is closer than Annapolis than we normally are. Also it's on a major road (interstate) and so should be a quicker commute.

Snow's coming and they're predicted to get 4-8 in the day with another 4 at night. Mothersmurfer!

Plan "B" - Stay at home since the snow line is above Annapolis and all we'll get is rain.

Snow line shifted its track south and now WE are expected to get the 8-12 inches of snow. Son of a...

Emergency Plan "C" - Borrow some money from folks to get a room at the Hackerman-Patz house across the street from the hospital assuming that if worse came to worse and we get the next ice age dumping on us we could bundle up and "Nanuk of the North" it across the glacier to the hospital. Sled dogs on Standby Alert.

Snowpocalypse turned out to be "No-pocalypse". Rain to the north of Annapolis, rain to the south, rain on top of us. A lot of it and thankfully it was not snow or we would have been buried. However since we could have stayed with Plan "A" or "B"...Gorramit!

Next we have the doctor calling in with our time for the appointment the next day. Wife's white blood cell count is elevated. Now since that blood work was two fragging weeks ago they pick NOW to tell us? Assholes.

So we are told to come in a half hour earlier to get a new cell count check done stat. We ask what time they want us in by and they tell us 6:40.

Next morning wife gets yelled at for being late. Now when someone calls to let us know when we're to be at the hospital and tells us to come in earlier and we ask "What time do *you* want us there by?" and they say 6:40am...one would assume that they want us there by 6:40am and not "The hospital wants you there by 6:40am but we want you in by 6:10am". Cocksuckers!

Blood work comes back and the count is down from two weeks ago but is still too high to do the surgery. Just barely over but they have the nurses pull the IV's and discharge her. FUCK WEASEL!

So we drive back to home and get an emergency visit to our Primary Doc. Ran down everything that could possibly cause the elevated cell counts. No cold, no sore throat, no rashes, no odd sounds in the lungs...ran down the checklist and nothing. Shit!

The only two things we can think of are wife picked up something from one of the kids (youngest was sick recently and was trying to barf up a lung from all the hacking and wheezing and the oldest was so distraught from her problems with her fiance kicking her out in the middle of the semester that her immune system tanked and she caught something) or it may have been from a friend who recently flew (pressurized cabin with god knows how many plague carriers). In either case she may have gotten the disease and fought it off without actually getting sick herself.

The only other thing may have been allergies.

So redo blood work to get a count below the threshold so they can re-schedule her, put her on antibiotics and claritin to keep the counts down and she has to crawl under a rock to avoid sick people and anything that could set off her immune system.

GAAAH!

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