Truth in advertising

Dear sir,

You are attempting to sell me these pills that which if they do as you advertise them to do, would double the size of my penis when I take just one of these pills.

Further research into the nature of the offer you're giving me is that for the low low price of $50 (after all, how could one put a price on increased manhood and sexual prowess) you give me a bottle with 50 pills.

A dollar per pill for a bigger tallywhacker seems to be a good deal...at first glance.

But the truth of it is, you really cannot take all of these pills. Because as advertised (and you make no claims other than "take one pill and double the size of your penis") every pill I take doubles the current size of my Johnson.

This means that by the time I've taken the 6th pill, I'm having to have sex from across the bedroom having by that time an eleven foot penis (10.67 feet based on the average length of 4 inches for the male human phallus).

By the 9th one, one of us is going to have to stand outside of the trailer (85.33 feet and sadly our trailer is a 14x70)

By the 20th pill, we're in two different counties (33.1 miles)

With the 32th pill, We can be in the same bed again...but only after I've wrapped it around the world 4 times (135573.46 miles)

With the 41st pill I can shag her while she's on the surface of the Planet Mercury (.75 Astronomical Units)

With the 49th pill, I can fuck my wife while she's on a StarShip just at the the heilopause on the "downwind" side of the sun which is 200 AU's distant

Pill 50 gives me a dick that is 35,539,769,786.7 miles long or 382.33 times the distance from the Sun to the Earth. Yes, this means that if I were to turn on a laser pen placed just under my balls, it would take 45 minutes for the LIGHT to reach the end of my pecker.

So in truth, selling me more than one pill is a waste. Either that, or your products advertising is not very...truthful.

Good day and please refrain from sending me any more penis enlargement ads. My wife and I are both quite happy with the size of Mr. Happy thank you.