Look at some product reviews. Either they're "OMG! This was the awesomest thing on the planet EVAR!" or "Oh dear lord this product couldn't be worse if it was pulled from Satan's own backed-up septic tank after Hell's annual Chili Cook-off."
With few reviews in between.
We went to a hotel in Williamsburg Va., and it was an older, very dated and run down hotel. My honest review on Trip Advisor read thus...
Seriously, the worst thing I can say about the hotel was that it is old and it shows. The rooms are dark thanks to the dark wood paneling that was popular when the hotel was built (my guess would be 60's-70's), the plaster is sporting some discoloration, and the fixtures are a bit dated.
But that's the worst I can say about it.
The staff was very friendly, the room was clean, the linens smelled fresh, and the price was reasonable for a weekend rate.
Pros - The room is clean, the water is hot and plentiful, the location is pretty centralized to most of the attractions in Williamsburg and the rates are reasonable.
Cons - The rooms are old and it shows, the mattress is firmer than I like it, but not so firm as to be uncomfortable, and due to a sticking lock we had to take a handicapped accessable room so I got stuck with a low mounted shower head (I'm 6'2 and this was set at 5'0) and we had the toilet with the elevated seat.
This would not be my first choice on my next trip to Williamsburg, but if money is an issue or nothing else in our pricerange is available...I'd not hesitate to come here again.Which is an honest assessment of the room. Everything I described in the review reflects on what we experienced in our stay there. The hotel is getting a little long in the tooth, but is well managed and kept as well as can be expected without doing a full renovation.
To hear what others were saying, one would think that this place was roach-infested, crack-whore central with the police banging on doors and arresting some drug-dealer or prostitute at all hours of the morning.
Saw one cricket, no police ever showed up, no scary individuals...Hell, the strangest thing we saw was a father and his kid (who also went to Busch Gardens) trying to catch a skink that was running around on the stairs.
Another area of interesting product reviews are the people who give a product a bad review based on something that is not the manufacturer's fault. Like one review for a computer monitor. It came in defective and they yelled bloody blue murder about how the company is a bunch of incompetent fuck-tards. What was wrong with the monitor you ask? There was a big boot print in the packaging when the unit arrived.
Now considering that the manufacturer isn't going to want the publicity of shipping damaged equipment, the odds are that this was done during transit. Either from an accident or some employee having a bad day and taking it out on random boxes.
The kicker? The review stated that the replacement sent from Tiger Direct worked perfectly, but they still gave it 1 out of 5 on every category. Yes, even though TD said "Damn that sucks! Here, send us the damaged one back and we'll overnight a replacement at no charge to you." they bashed and bad mouthed the product as if there was a design flaw that caused the units to spontaneously manifest size-12 boot prints in the screen.
Recipe reviews are another fun category. This is the one that really makes me weep for the species. Now the missus and I are looking for new recipe ideas for dinners. Especially slow-cooker meals that we can make on the road when we get the Teardrop Camper built. Now it's fine to post opinions on such reviews. Saying that the recipe is a little bland means that people who love cooking with spices and herbs may want to taste it while it's cooking to see where such can be added to impart more flavor. Someone who reports that it's too spicy for them serves as a warning to people who are a little bit of a spice wimp that they might want to cut down on the hot stuff. Even things like "I didn't have "X" and so I substituted "Y" and it came out tasty" serves to help people who might likewise not be able to get a hold of "X" but want to still try it.
But what you actually get are a bunch of people who say "I tried the Chicken Marsala recipe but didn't have the mushrooms or the Marsala Wine (so I used vodka), and didn't have Olive Oil (substituted Vegetable Oil) and it didn't taste good at all."
Anyone who knows anything about cooking would see the mistakes right off the bat. Anyone who doesn't know cooking would at least surmise that if you don't have the ingredients called for in a recipe, you're not going to get the same results.
Olive oil has more flavor than bland old vegetable oil. Hell vegetable oil is frequently used because it has almost no flavor impact on a food. And the three defining things about Chicken Marsala are the 'shrooms, the chicken and the Marsala wine. Eliminate two out of the three and you ain't got Chicken Marsala.
Now it is possible in this recipe to use a dry red wine instead of the Marsala, it won't be Chicken Marsala, but it would still be pretty tasty. But cutting out the 'shrooms and using vodka and then saying that it "didn't taste good at all" and then blaming the recipe for it (and giving it half a star on the review)...what's your thinking?
This the kind of person who would write Chrysler and complain "My Dodge Truck ran like shit after I got drunk and drove it into a tree. You make crappy products."
eBay feedback is another fun area. This is one of those areas where if the transaction goes well everyone screams "A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++" until they run out of characters in the feedback area, or they belittle the seller if the product is not as awesome as they imagined.
I bought some used books from a chap on eBay recently. 98% positive review with a few negative ones. Let me check the negative reviews. Hrm..."Book was not in new condition...he LIED TO ME!!!" on a book that was listed in "Fair" condition with dents and dings on the hard cover, paper yellowed with age and other signs of a well cared for likewise well used and old copy of the Dungeons and Dragons Player Handbook.
Then we have "It took me two weeks to get the books after I ordered them" This one concerned me until I saw that the seller was in California and the buyer was in Ramstein Germany (my guess son of US Air Force Personnel stationed there). It took two weeks to go halfway around the planet using the least expensive shipping method so the seller didn't sell his book at a loss? Consider yourself lucky punk.
Or on a current transaction of mine. Guy complained "7 days returns HE DID not return$$$$$ after sold me JUNK". The reply from the seller was "Buyer Wanted REFUND before Item was Returned, MUST RETURN ITEM FIRST then Refund".
Which is eBay's advice to sellers. Don't ship until money clears, don't refund until product is returned.
So I've learned to read between the lines when it comes to reviews. Eliminate all the "This was the mostest awesomest thing in the whole wide world!!!" reviews, eliminate the "OMFG This was the suxxors!!!" reviews and read the ones that seem to be written by people who are capable of actually saying why something was good or why it was bad...
And to be able to do so using a reasonable grasp on the English Language. I'm not expecting Shakespearean Dialog or "The Queen's English"...but for fuck's sake hopefully you can do better than "FIRE BAD!"
No comments:
Post a Comment