Ok, so some of what's on TV isn't bad.

So I'm puppy sitting a friend's new Shar Pei and we have to stay over at their house.

Oh please don't make me stay at a house with a jacuzzi and high-speed internet access ok, you've convinced me.

Well, since we didn't pack up our extensive DVD collection, we were forced to watch TV.

It takes some doing, but there ARE still shows worth watching. Not many, but there are a few.

What we really need to have happen is for the cable channels to offer Ala-Carte subscriptions. Give me the local channels for local news and weather, and let me pick the rest in blocks of 5 or 10 channels. I mention this as they keep thinking about it, but sadly I feel that the cable companies are too busy sitting around and jerking themselves off while snorting cocaine off the ass of a $200 an hour hooker to care about the wants and desires of their customers.

Bitter? Sarcastic? Me? Nah...what gave you that impression?

SO, I submit the list of channels and associated shows that if I could get JUST those channels might (just might) get me to consider cable TV again.

History Channel - Ok, I'm a sucker for Modern Marvels, I love historical stuff (if I didn't, I wouldn't be in the SCA now would I?), and by and large, they are one of the few channels that hasn't diluted it's concept by playing everything that everyone else is.

Discovery Channel - Not as awesome as once it was, but still has Dirtiest Jobs, Deadliest catch and How it's Made.

BBC America - The closest thing I'll ever get to the real BBC. What gives? In the 90's we had the controversy of having topless female nudity on prime-time (Wow! We got to see boobies for what? 10 seconds? Less even?) and the REAL BBC had shows like the Benny Hill show and Monty Python where they cursed and showed half-to-totally nekkid women back in the 60's and 70's. Sure, you have to pay for the TV licence, but their crappy TV shows are better than our "Nielson Rated Gold".

Makes you want to count toes on the Nielsons. I'm betting that the family tree don't fork. And if one of Nielson Raters reads this (first of all I'd be amazed), and gets offended, just log off the inter-web thingie and go back kissin' yer sister-mama in front of TV.

NatGeo - Good learning stuff. I can't keep my "Edu-ma-cated Redneck" status if I don't spend at least three hours looking at Wiki or watching stuff on how the universe got made or stuff like that.

TruTV - Ok, I know I blasted the hell out of it thanks to the one time I tried to watch it. I must have caught it on a bad day because there was a crap-ton of stupid people acting even stupider to the judge/officer/MP. Plus the show about the women deputies in the same Arizona county that has the really fun Sheriff (the one that makes the inmates wear bright pink underwear, handcufs, day uniforms) is amusing. I'm sorry, seeing some 6'8 male Lurch-looking moron getting his left knee shoved into his right ear (a poor fit at best) by a 5'2 woman...well it just tickles my "laugh at the stupid dumbass" funnybone.

Other channels I'd get if I had to go for a pack of 10.

Cartoon Network - Family Guy and  Robot Chicken for me, The other cartoons for the kids.
Comedy Central - They chop the movies to hell for the TV Censors, but they have some funny stuff and the after hours stuff is often uncut.

Food Network - Most of the shows I couldn't care for as I'm of the "Meat, Gravy, Spuds and Biscuits IS the four food groups" sort of person thanks to my redneck upbringing. They make some stuff that's a little out of my comfort zone. However Alton Brown's "Good Eats" and the shows that showcase the off the beaten path eateries are entertaining. Heck, I'll plan trips just so we can try one of those places if they look good...providing that there is something worth going there to do or look at.

Comedy Central - Some fun stuff, some really raunchy stuff (drawn together) and occasionally at night they actually show an uncut show.

Animal Planet - Good for fun filler

SyFy - Just on the off handed hope that they'll actually play something Science Fiction again...that and the fact that out of the rest of my choices it is the least offensive.